The Irresistible Man
“As the apple tree among the trees of the wood so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste. He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love. Stay me with flagons, comfort me with apples: for I am sick of love. His left hand is under my head, and his right hand doth embrace me” Songs of Solomon 2: 3-6.
Love is a powerful thing. But true love is not an emotion, but an action, a longing to fulfill the heart desires of the one who is loved. This is the level of love and fervent commitment that Jesus Christ has for the Church, as a bridegroom for the bride. Waters cannot quench it, floods cannot drown it. And time cannot dilute or erase the love between God and His people, or a husband and wife who are committed to each other for life. This love flourishes when the needs of the couples are met. Here are some of the needs of a woman:
Affection: Affection is the binding force in a relationship. It is a symbol of security, comfort, protection and approval to a woman. Women love the feeling that comes with the bestowal and reception of affection. This has nothing to do with sex though sometimes it may lead to sex. Affection is the atmosphere of a marriage. It is the umbrella that covers and protects a marriage. It is an expression of love that gives sex a more appropriate context to women. They need affection for sex to mean much to them.
Communication: Often times we find women complain that their husbands hardly talk to them and we rarely find men asking the same questions. This is because women are made to talk, they desire communication attention, and they enjoy having conversations especially with their husbands. Men do not really have much need for that. A husband who wants to meet his wife’s needs of feeling close to him will have to provide her with sufficient time and attention. While dating, women usually fall in love with their partner as result of the time they spent talking and exchanging affection. Having good conversations help couples communicate their needs to each other and learn how to meet them. It also can keep a couple from growing apart.
Openness: The feeling of insecurity is a bright golden thread that strings through all of a woman’s emotional need. A husband who is not truthful and open is his communication with his wife, undermines her trust and eventually destroys her sense of security. A woman has no foundation to build a solid relationship on if she can’t trust the information her husband provides or the signals he sends as well. Also the absence of openness and honesty presents a lack of ability to negotiate. Negotiation is an essential component to building a successful marriage. Honesty is said to be the best policy for ensuring a good marriage.
Financial support: Women often want to be assured that they will be adequately taken care of by their husband even if they are making money themselves.
Commitment: Women often want their husbands to take the leadership role in their family and commit to the moral and educational development of their children. A woman often wants to be married to a man who they can respect and look up to and who also is a model to his children. A father usually has a great influence on his children and this is important to a woman. Fathers who get involved with their children’s lives often earn greater respect and admiration from their wives and also help increase marital fulfilment.
Written by Dr. Godwin & Blessing Ude.