Kissing Worldly Dating Goodbye (Part 1)
“We beseech you, brethren, and exhort you by the Lord Jesus, that as ye have received of us how ye ought to walk and to please God, so ye would abound more and more. For ye know what commandments we gave you by the Lord Jesus. For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour; Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God: That no man go beyond and defraud his brother in any matter: because that the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also have forewarned you and testified. For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness”. I Thessalonians 4:1-7.
“Dating” means different things to diverse people, particularly across generations. Often times people refer to dating as the act of meeting and engaging in some mutually agreed upon social activity in public, together, as a couple. However Christian dating is different from worldly dating. God has more in store for us than just jumping from one relationship to another. When it comes to Christian dating, we live according to God’s standard. It’s not just about following the rules. There are reasons God instructed us to live a certain way, and dating is no different.
Before we consider dating as Christians, it is important for us to determine the purpose for our dating. Ask yourself some questions such as: Why do I really want to date? , Am I ready for the responsibilities involved in dating and the aftermath such as marriage? Is this the right time for it?
It is important during dating to submit ourselves to the will of God. You need to maximize your relationship with God so that you can be a blessing to the person you are dating. Allow the fruit of the Holy Spirit to be in operation and let the word of God be the final authority in your life. Surround yourself with people who love God and close the door to the enemy’s suggestion.
One thing to bear in mind is that dating leads to intimacy but not commitment and intimacy involves our emotions. Establishing a foundation of friendship before intimacy is critical to having a successful dating. Friendship involves getting to know the other person’s character. We do not have to be imitators of this world because though we live in the world, we are not of the world. We should not be willing to do wrong when there is an opportunity to do right. Romance is good but it can overwhelm our perspective at the wrong time.
Establishing boundaries or setting limits for yourselves during dating will help keep you in check. Be careful not to lead your partner on and refrain from defiling one another in any way. It is important to keep your temple for God and respect each other’s temple too. There is a time for everything under the sun and everything is beautiful in its time. Wait for the right time to enjoy God’s blessing and you will reap that good seed when you get married. If you want God’s best for your life, you have to live differently.
Written by Dr. Godwin & Blessing Ude