Keeping Your Marriage Alive
Marriage, like any friendship, begins with areas of commonality, but the stresses of normal everyday life such as children, work, finances, illness and caring for elderly parents can create stress on the union and cause couples to drift apart.
Here are a few suggestions on how to keep the flame burning:
Display team effort when in public: It is imperative for a couple to make a rule not to contradict each other when making a public appearance. Even if you do not agree with each other, it is best to choose the option to take your partner aside and talk over the matter with them or wait until later on to do this. This ensures that they are not embarrassed or undermined.
Be their cheerleader: Speak about your spouse with adoration and admiration. Life is a vicious circle; most times those amazing things spoken about them get back to their ears and this makes them feel that they are loved.
Never stop dating: Always try to set out time to have fun together. It is an established fact that a couple that plays together stays together just like children always bond with the friends that they often play with. Desist from falling back into the same week-to-week routine and missing out on spending great times together. Sometimes you may have spontaneous easy-going date. Quit picking fights or arguing and take pleasure in what you have and love each other.
Discover your spouse’s love language: Strive to be a giver and not always a receiver. The scripture said in Acts 20:35 that it is more blessed to give than to receive. Give of yourself without reservation. It is within your giving that love grows. You may not be able to make them love you more but you may be able to love each other more.
Always be attentive: Have you ever walked up to someone at a programme, and as you started talking to them, they nod and make polite sounds, but they are clearly elsewhere in spirit? They are scanning the crowd while they are standing with you peeking over your shoulder wondering who else is here.” It’s chilling to be on the receiving end of such treatment. It’s bad enough when it occurs at a social or business event, but it can be very devastating in a marriage. Always pay attention to your spouse. Look them in the eye. Listen to their heart and not just their words. This is an area of challenge for a lot of people. Later on in life, they wonder where the years went and why they don’t feel as connected to their spouse as they hoped they would. They notice a growing distance between them. If this is the case for you, take heart. It’s not too late. Regardless of how long you’ve been married, you can learn from those mistakes. Choose today to start paying attention to the person you vowed to love and cherish for a lifetime.
Written by Dr. Godwin & Blessing Ude.