Honoring Your Mate
“ With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love”. Ephesians 4:2.
Words like “honor” are not often heard in our daily conversations. Instead, they are saved for wedding days and church services. Yet, these words should be front and center in our marriage every day. Our society has managed to lose track of the place of honor in our marriage relationships. We have actually lost track of it in not just our marriages but also in all areas of our society. We have become so intent on “looking out for ourselves” that we’ve forgotten that other people are worthy of honor.
To honor someone means to hold them in high regard, and treat them that way. Still, when you hear people talk about their spouses, it sounds more like they hate each other, than love each other. There is no honor in their hearts, so there is no honor in their speech. When we don’t honor our spouse, we are in essence saying that they have no value to us. Honor is the foundation of a good relationship.
Here are some tips on how to demonstrate honor to your spouse
Touch each other: Successful couples touch each other, hug, squeeze, embrace, hold hands, sit close together and enjoy sex. There is something amazing that takes place in touching. Even the psychiatrists say that something happens in the life of a child when y continuously touched. The same applies to couples too.
Listen to each other: Communication is invariably the number one problem in relationships according to marriage survey. We attach high volume to our mates when we listen deeply without given overtly quick response that gives advice or criticize. Listening lubricates marriage and reduces friction. It makes deposit in our love bank.
Spend time together alone: How you spend your time shows what is important to you. Read your bible and pray together as a couple. A couple that prays and plays together, stays together.
Encourage each other with words: Encouragement is the food of the heart. Successful couples make the most of it; they verbally affirm each other at every opportunity. Affirm always and not only when you need one yourself. Create an atmosphere of encouragement in your relationship. Try to catch each other doing something right.
Unconditionally accept each other: Unconditional love and acceptance form a crucial foundation in successful marriages. Happy couples feel they don’t have to perform to be loved. They don’t feel they will be rejected if they don’t meet a certain standard. Remember you are united by covenant and not feelings.
Be committed to each other: Successful couples are committed to work through their troubles. It’s important that couples learn to resolve conflicts amicably. Start by praying, affirming, acknowledge your part in the chaos, accept blame and bring solution to the table.
Take care of your financial future together: Money problems create more stress on marriage than any other outside stress. Couples who live within their means are careful that they are able to provide for their tomorrow.
Remember if you honor your spouse, you honor God.
Written by Dr. Godwin & Blessing Ude.