Help, I’m Having A Hard Time Communicating With Spouse
Good communication is one of the keys to a great relationship. It is not usually natural but has to be learnt. However, there are some things that are obstacles to our being able to appropriately communicate with our spouse. Some of these things include:
Making demands and not request. Demands sends out that you do not care how they feel when fulfilling it. All you care about is what you want even if it’s at the expense of your spouse. Making demands destroy love and also inspires rebellion.
Verbal abuse: Verbally punishing your spouse is no
thing short of mental and emotional abuse which causes more harm than physical abuse. Sometimes couples develop phrases designed to hurt each other. This leaves a lasting, hurtful expression that is unforgettable. Resentment from past verbal battles could cause a couple to hate each other.
Insisting on one’s own way: Forcing your opinion on your spouse can be very irritating. Couples need to bear in mind that the accommodation of their feelings should not require their spouse to loose their personal values or judgement.
Focusing on past or current mistakes: Most people resent criticism or corrections. This often leads to justification of their act and casting the blame elsewhere. In that case, it is hard to communicate. One’s defense level is high. People can willingly accommodate others with some change in their behavior if they are not criticized.
Written by Dr. Godwin & Blessing Ude.