“My son, keep thy father’s commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother: Bind them continually upon thine heart, and tie them about thy neck. When thou goest, it shall lead thee; when thou sleepest, it shall keep thee; and when thou awakest, it shall talk with thee. For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life: To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman. Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids. For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life. Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?” Proverbs 6:20-27.
The youth of today are getting ripped off. Instead of enjoying their teen years as they build skills and character, they are getting distracted into the quagmire of relationships that they are not equipped to conduct. Unfortunately, our culture teaches our singles to engage in multiple dating relationships as though it were a normal and useful practice. The truth is, the modern dating system has only been around for less than a century. The worldly system of dating, as it is currently conducted by most people, is far from God’s original plan.
God wants us to have the best in life and he instructs us on how to go about it. Dating tends to skip the friendship stage and jump to intimacy and intimacy is a reward of commitment. People who pursue romantic relationship when they are not ready for marriage often put themselves in a precarious situation. It’s important to examine the reason you want to date or get involved with another person. Is it as a result of lust in your life or the desire to satisfy your sexual need?
Often times people mistake lust for love. Lust is sin. Our dating relationship should be an opportunity to model the love of God. It should create an environment for evaluating another person’s character. Character is what you are in the dark when no one is looking. Focus on the heart of the person you are dating and not only outward expressions. In I Samuel 16:7 God told Samuel, “Don’t be impressed by his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. God does not view things the way men do. People look on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” As Christians, to enjoy our dating relationship, we need to see things the way God see it.
It’s important to get involved with someone who has also submitted themselves to God’s will or else they will have no power to control their urges. Set boundaries, control or manage your body in consecration. Don’t destroy other people’s feelings or emotions. Choose to be responsible in your relationship with God and others. Treat them as God will want you to treat them. Seek a deeper friendship first.
Here are things to avoid in dating;
• Avoid saying or doing things that express romantic love.
• Don’t talk about your future together at the friendship stage.
• Don’t drop hints about romantic feelings.
• Don’t encourage your friends to treat you as a couple.
• Abstain from seduction or fornication. This affects the relationship.
Watch to see if they have character.
Wait for God to lead you and
Pray about it.
Written by Dr. Godwin & Blessing Ude