Establishing boundaries in your life

Boundaries are limits to what is acceptable or can be tolerated in a relationship. It is the emotional and physical space that we place between us and others. They are imaginary lines or limits that protect you, your time and energy. They keep others’ actions and behaviors from hurting, distracting, annoying, or imposing on you and help set limits on how others can treat you or behave around you. People treat you as you allow them to; however, you can actually teach others how to treat you based on how strong or weak your boundaries are.


Humans are a tripartite being and having strong boundaries help protect your body, mind, and spirit. Setting boundaries can have a tremendous impact on the quality of your life. It is a major step and is important in taking control or responsibility for your life. However, it’s often the area where most people seem to have the most difficulties.


Boundary setting is not about getting other people to change but about deciding what you will or will not tolerate in your life, and then communicating it firmly and consistently whenever needed. Boundaries are essential to becoming a healthy adult and balancing your work and personal life effectively. They demonstrate your commitment to self-respect.


Why establish boundaries someone may ask? Creating boundaries reduces burnout, allows for real growth, reveals the real you and enables you take full responsibility for your life. Boundaries strengthen a person’s life and protect its integrity. A relationship without boundaries is like an ancient city without walls. Such relationship is vulnerable and will easily fall to external aggressions. Life without boundaries is an undisciplined life heading nowhere. The foundation of every successful life must be based on concrete boundaries that guide and shield it from toxic external influences.


Strategies for establishing healthy boundaries.

  1. ž Discover keys for creating healthy boundaries
  2. ž Identify your want/need
  3. ž Discover some of the subconscious belief that hinders you from creating boundaries
  4. ž Refrain from spending too much time with toxic people
  5. ž Surround yourself with those who celebrate you
  6. ž Honor yourself by fighting approval addiction
  7. ž Understand your boundary issues (Self-awareness)
  8. ž Educate others about unacceptable behaviors and expressions and help them understand how they can respect your boundaries.
  9. ž Teach them what you want
  10. ž Re-inforce your values
  11. ž Respect other people’s boundaries

Written by Dr. Godwin & Blessing Ude

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